by Archdeacon Claire Phelps
Dear Family of St John’s
The Youth Centre has acquired a Foosball table. Whoop Whoop!! But, it’s not JUST a Foosball table. It’s a 4-in-1 Gaming Table with Foosball, Air Hockey, Pool, and Table Tennis. The teens are going to have a ball (yes, pun intended)!
Heather P went online to find the perfect item, researched prices, options and durability. The table was selected and ordered. We watched the courier updates eagerly, keeping this all a secret from the teens.
The table arrived last week in a huge, heavy box. We were very grateful that the courier delivery drivers carried it all the way down to the Youth Centre. I suggested to Heather P and Vanessa that ‘us girls’ would just assemble the table quickly while we had our weekly chat about various ministry matters. No problem.
Well…
We unboxed the table, set out all the different parts and the little packets of screws and bolts and washers in various sizes. We looked at the instruction manual and started assembling the first pieces.
Now, the first problem was that the print in the manual is SUPER tiny. And, I think with the humidity we’re having my contact lenses must have misted over. So, what should have been a #15 screw, ended up being a #16 screw. #16’s are a fraction longer than #15’s.
The second problem was that the tools that came in this flat-pack box could just as well have come out of a Christmas Cracker. I’m not exaggerating. I had brought a screwdriver from my office. But, it seems one of my strengths is NOT screwing screws straight into flat-pack items – if you need it inserted at an angle, I’m your girl! And, remember the slightly too long screw? Well, I had a lot to say about the poor production of this product when the screw started peeking through.
Through all of this I kept affirming that ‘us girls had this’! At one point I declared quite firmly, ‘We do not need to call a man!’ I only realized after the words were out of my mouth that Vanessa was looking directly over my shoulder at Dave, a man. He thought it was very funny!
I decided the issue was just the inferior tools. Vanessa, who was quite happy to call on the assistance of the male species from the get-go, went off to find a better-equipped toolbox. In her search she came across another man, Heather P’s fiancé. Being the fiancé of one of the team, we decided it was okay to employ his assistance.
Well, his eyes weren’t misted-over due to the humidity, he had a fully equipped tool box, and it seems a lot of experience in assembling Lego. So, he took the lead and without too much fuss we had the table assembled. I do need to state that he also scoffed at the tools we’d been provided with.
So, what’s the point of my whole story?
It’s not that girls have to call a guy to assemble things. Rather, it’s that things work out for the best when we allow those around us to use their gifts too. In this case it may have been clear eyes, bigger tools, and the ability to insert a screw straight. But, you get my point.
So often, we’re tempted to do everything ourselves. We don’t want to be a burden. We don’t want to admit we’re stuck. Or we want to prove that we’re capable on our own. But Scripture gently reminds us that God never designed us to function as isolated individuals. From the very beginning, God said, “It is not good for the human to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We were created for relationship, for partnership, for shared work and shared joy.
Paul takes this even further when he speaks about the church as a body. “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:27). Not one part does everything. Not one gift is enough on its own. The eye needs the hand. The foot needs the head. And sometimes the person with misted-over contact lenses needs someone with clearer vision and a better toolbox!
The beauty of Christian community is not that we are all the same – but that we are wonderfully different. “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them” (1 Corinthians 12:4). When we make space for one another’s strengths, we honour the way God has wired each person. And when we allow others to help us, we practise humility – which is not weakness, but wisdom.
So, as we go into this week, maybe the question for us is this: Where might God be inviting me to stop struggling alone… and start sharing the work?
Because when we build together – whether it’s a foosball table, a youth ministry, a parish, or a life of faith – things really do come together better.
With love
Your friend and rector,
Claire