Hello!
On Tuesday night we had the vestry meeting for St John’s. At my previous church, vestry was held in the church service on Sunday’s. For five years in a row, I always happened to be on duty in the Children’s church when vestry was happening. Such a coincidence. I am writing this before the meeting, and having never been to one before, I’m little apprehensive about how “watching paint dry” can apparently be more interesting. I’m sure that’s not how things happen at St John’s though…
The vestry meeting takes place in the church, with chairs and a trestle table up at the front where we approach the altar (I learnt in a confirmation class where I was meant to be teaching, that this area is called the chancel). Anyway, the table was partially set up on the morning of the meeting, and walking down the aisle towards the cross, it is the first thing you see. The table was covered in a floor-length black cloth with some regular chairs scattered around it. Just a table and chairs stretched in a line from pulpit to lectern (Other terms I learnt the different meanings of in that confirmation class!). When I walked into the church, I actually stopped in my tracks when I saw the line. It was very simple, but the entire look exuded the feeling of a cold and stoic judge’s panel. Out of nowhere, I felt anxiety and fear at the presence of this simple table. It was so imposing, and it took me a second to figure out why.
Walking down the main aisle at St Johns, the altar and the cross fill your view. It’s very simple, no stained-glass displays around the altar, no detailed tapestries or calligraphy, not even an elegantly crafted crucifix. Just a simple cross. The most decoration you see are the windows around the choir stalls and even they, in all their beauty, do not draw your eyes more than the cross. I have always loved this about St John’s: that the cross is the main focus point in the church. It’s enormity and simplicity draw you in, reminds you why you are there, and quiets you in God’s presence. Like a toddler at the 9:30 service, you can walk right up to the altar rail, curious, unencumbered and welcome.
When I walked into the church on Tuesday morning, the first thing I saw was not the cross, but a barricade in front of it. That fear and anxiety came from just picturing the way to the cross not being clear. Looking like it was set up for a panel of judges: walking up to the front of the church felt intimidating instead of welcoming. Like I was on trial before I could pass.
The experience made me think about just how wonderful it is, that we have free access to the cross. It made me think of what it would have been like in Jesus’ time to walk into the Temple and be in God’s Holy place but still be separated from Him. To look to the front and see a great curtain keeping you from God’s presence and knowing that it was your own sin that necessitated it. Thinking back to the curtain that separated the Holy of Holies from humanity, how wonderful it is, that the curtain has been torn down! The barrier is gone! And Christ didn’t just take away the divide in our place of worship, He made that connection within each of us.
In this period of Lent, we remember Jesus’ temptation in the desert. We repent of our sin and the things in our lives we can’t seem to live without. We look for ways to better emulate Jesus. And in all of it, we still have a direct, intimate connection to God. Even if that table in the church had been the seat of a judge set to prosecute us of our crimes, our advocate is there beside us willing to show how He paid the debt for each one of our sins.
Thinking back to the first Maundy Thursday service I went to, I wept when the Aumbry lamp was turned off, signifying Jesus was no longer in the church. The concept of “God is not in this place” was truly terrifying. But how comforting is it, that although the Sanctuary lamp will go out in a few weeks’ time, it will only be for three days! And always it is just symbolism. Christ still reigns in us; God is still found within the church and all around us. How wonderful is it, that we have no barrier to entry with God. The curtain is torn, and the way is clear! In this Lenten period “Let us then approach the throne of God with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16. Thanks be to God!
Much love in Christ
Heather P